With M. Night Shyamalan’s “The Happening,” starring Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel, and the malicious super-villain of the wind, 2008 received its most unintentionally hilarious film. As Shyamalan continues his progressive downward slope from “the master of suspense” to the director of some of the last decade’s worst flops, “The Happening” is so bad, it’s laughable. What is there not to make fun of here? The plot, the script, the acting, and the directing are all equally ridiculous. Gone is the director who petrified his audience in their seats by building tension simply by what’s not shown on screen in “Signs,” as well as the master manipulator of the twist ending that no one saw coming in “The Sixth Sense,” Shyamalan’s fall from grace could rival a Shakespearean tragedy, if only it wasn’t so funny. It feels like each new film Shyamalan makes is a further step into one of the circles of Dante’s vision of hell. I felt like I was suffering one of the fates of sinners because compared to watching some of “The Happening’s” excruciating scenes, walking through fire seem almost preferable.
The story centers on a pathogen or toxin (which one, it doesn’t really matter) that is released by the environment and the trees. This toxin makes people commit suicide. It apparently travels through wind, because in one scene, groups of people are actually being chased by a gentle breeze. I’m not sure Shyamalan could have chosen a more harmless sounding antagonist, apart from a stuffed animal. As towns are attacked by the masses, people are terrified because they do not know the cause of this sudden illness that makes people lie down in front of a lawnmower, jump from buildings, and purposely crash their cars into trees. But apparently, by the film’s end, the flimsy explanation for all this hysteria is just simply that Mother Nature is pissed off and decided to punish all of humanity.
The film is only made worse by the two leads, who don’t even try to elevate the dismal script. Mark Wahlberg is hilariously wooden as Eliot Moore and Zooey Deschanel’s acting method here is to look around confused with her bright blue eyes and throwing away her lines in a distracted, aloof manner. In one scene, Wahlberg’s Moore is on the run from, you guessed it, that vicious breeze, and apologizes to a house plant as they seek shelter. The dialogue is as follows: “I’m just going to talk in a real positive manner, giving off good vibes. We’re just here to use the bathroom, then we’re gonna leave. I hope that’s okay.” There are no words to explain the subtleties of the scene-stealing house plant, as it gives the best and most convincing performance in the entire film. In another example of the film’s God-awful dialogue, the random subject of hot dogs are brought up as one man claims, “You know, hot dogs get a bad rep. They gotta cool shape, they got protein.” How this type of dialogue pertains to anything in the entire film remains a mystery. And in one more hilarious bit of dialogue, Elliot tells Alma that once, he saw an attractive pharmacist and he almost went up to her to buy something just to talk to her. He reassures Alma, “I’m talking a completely superfluous bottle of cough syrup here.” Again, dialogue that has no point, place, or apparent purpose.
There is also nothing positive about Shyamalan’s direction in addition to his screenplay. The score is equally ridiculous, and everything is green. The trees and plants are the real stars of this film, because more shots seems to be concentrated on the environment than the actual characters, but maybe that’s a good thing because we won’t have to hear Mark Walhberg doing an impression of Andy Samberg doing an impression of Mark Wahlberg on SNL. He’s a parody of himself, and it’s just embarrassing for everyone involved.
The one positive thing about this film is that it doesn’t go on for an agonizing two hours, instead with a swift ninety minute run time. So, if you’re looking for something so pathetically bad, you want to laugh, “The Happening” is your film, but if you’re searching for an intelligent, well-explained and built plot, search elsewhere. A meager thirty second explanation for what occurred in the film is thrown away at the end, and it seems as though everything was magically solved (dues ex machina, anyone?). By the time the credits are rolling after “The Happening,” you’re still unsure of what actually happened.
Rating: 1 star, for making me laugh the entire time
Where to Find It: On DVD
The story centers on a pathogen or toxin (which one, it doesn’t really matter) that is released by the environment and the trees. This toxin makes people commit suicide. It apparently travels through wind, because in one scene, groups of people are actually being chased by a gentle breeze. I’m not sure Shyamalan could have chosen a more harmless sounding antagonist, apart from a stuffed animal. As towns are attacked by the masses, people are terrified because they do not know the cause of this sudden illness that makes people lie down in front of a lawnmower, jump from buildings, and purposely crash their cars into trees. But apparently, by the film’s end, the flimsy explanation for all this hysteria is just simply that Mother Nature is pissed off and decided to punish all of humanity.
The film is only made worse by the two leads, who don’t even try to elevate the dismal script. Mark Wahlberg is hilariously wooden as Eliot Moore and Zooey Deschanel’s acting method here is to look around confused with her bright blue eyes and throwing away her lines in a distracted, aloof manner. In one scene, Wahlberg’s Moore is on the run from, you guessed it, that vicious breeze, and apologizes to a house plant as they seek shelter. The dialogue is as follows: “I’m just going to talk in a real positive manner, giving off good vibes. We’re just here to use the bathroom, then we’re gonna leave. I hope that’s okay.” There are no words to explain the subtleties of the scene-stealing house plant, as it gives the best and most convincing performance in the entire film. In another example of the film’s God-awful dialogue, the random subject of hot dogs are brought up as one man claims, “You know, hot dogs get a bad rep. They gotta cool shape, they got protein.” How this type of dialogue pertains to anything in the entire film remains a mystery. And in one more hilarious bit of dialogue, Elliot tells Alma that once, he saw an attractive pharmacist and he almost went up to her to buy something just to talk to her. He reassures Alma, “I’m talking a completely superfluous bottle of cough syrup here.” Again, dialogue that has no point, place, or apparent purpose.
There is also nothing positive about Shyamalan’s direction in addition to his screenplay. The score is equally ridiculous, and everything is green. The trees and plants are the real stars of this film, because more shots seems to be concentrated on the environment than the actual characters, but maybe that’s a good thing because we won’t have to hear Mark Walhberg doing an impression of Andy Samberg doing an impression of Mark Wahlberg on SNL. He’s a parody of himself, and it’s just embarrassing for everyone involved.
The one positive thing about this film is that it doesn’t go on for an agonizing two hours, instead with a swift ninety minute run time. So, if you’re looking for something so pathetically bad, you want to laugh, “The Happening” is your film, but if you’re searching for an intelligent, well-explained and built plot, search elsewhere. A meager thirty second explanation for what occurred in the film is thrown away at the end, and it seems as though everything was magically solved (dues ex machina, anyone?). By the time the credits are rolling after “The Happening,” you’re still unsure of what actually happened.
Rating: 1 star, for making me laugh the entire time
Where to Find It: On DVD
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